Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, was recently implicated in a prostitution ring when he was recorded arranging a meeting with one of the ring's employees by the FBI. He was staying overnight in DC and had the young woman, an employee of The Emperors Club, "transported" from New York. It would be impossible to list all the problems with this situation, so we'll just delve into a few.
There was a time when buying good quality sex was just a pay phone call away. You went someplace comfortable but not too nice, you took care of business, and then you went home. No one was the wiser. Unfortunately, technology has come along and completely screwed the likes of Eliot Spitzer and other members of the monogamously challenged. Now we have cell phones, blackberries, pda's, iphones, and probably microchip implants that tell the entire world exactly where we are at any given time. Not only that, but this technology makes people dumber than they already are. They start saying to themselves, "No one will see just one cell phone call on the bill or one email address to 'High Class Bowery Babes.' What's the harm?" In reality, they should be using a pay phone nowhere within 20 miles of where they live and wiping it off with a clean rag to get rid of fingerprints after the arrangements have been made. Of course, it takes a few extra minutes but it puts the mind at ease: No big surprises.
Take this example. Say you're the governor of a one of the most populous states in the Union. You probably work quite a few late nights - at least that's what you tell your wife. Maybe things haven't been so good a home. Perhaps you haven't gotten any in a few months and there looks to be no rain in the forecast for some time to come. It could be that your just utterly addicted to sex and can't get enough so you turn to other sources. Maybe your just stupid. Who knows? The one thing you DON'T do is use your cell phone or any other electronic device that can be linked back to you in any way. Also, if you're going to use a "service," at least make sure they're paid up with the right people and that they're NOT under investigation. My god, man, it's YOUR state and YOU'RE the governor. You should have a few connections.
Also, when you leave town for the night and think you'll be feeling frisky, try using a local shop with a decent underground reputation. Send a trusted assistant to scope out the situation ahead of time. Check out a really nice strip club and find yourself a willing "aspiring actress" or model trying to pay her way through school. Think about it. You don't have to worry about getting pinched. It's not like she'll know who you are anyway. But as a former attorney general you should probably know that transporting prostitutes over state lines for the purposes of said prostitution is a federal offense - which completely takes the situation out of YOUR hands.
Finally, and perhaps most embarrassing of all, is the fact that you paid upwards of $5,500 a night for one of these girls. 5,500 bucks isn't a night with a hooker, it's long weekend at a nice bed and breakfast...with two hookers. Just because the restaurant is trendy and has a great reputation doesn't mean you should pay triple the price for the same food. In other words, no hooker is worth that, unless it's actually a week long lease.
Governor Spitzer, you made a lot of mistakes in this situation. You got sloppy and it cost you. You made paying for sex a lot harder than it needed to be, especially for someone with your clout. Fortunately, there is something you can do to help make things right. Though we wouldn't want to give you any advice that you might find unpalatable, you might just consider - you know - not cheating on your wife anymore. Give it shot, it might feel better than dropping $5,500 a night and ruining your previously "clean" reputation.
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