Celebmonkey

Why Is It So Quiet At Celebmonkey?

It's a legitimate question!  Ya kind of wonder if anyone's been home lately, no? 

We are alive, and no, we haven't forgotten about you.  Thing is, we - slave2celeb and gossipmonkey - are getting married in three weeks.   It's crunch time, and gossipmonkey, in addition to having a day job and a side gig, AND being a bride, is going a bit, well... bananas.

Please bear with us for the next little bit during this exciting and stressful time. 

In the meantime, you can get your celebrity news at one of these fine establishments:

Backseat Cuddler
TEN Gossip
Anything Hollywood
Celebrity Body Gossip
Allie Is Wired
Bumpshack
Knocked Up Celebs
Mom Pop Son
Scandalous Candice
Gravy & Biscuits

Hugs and Kisses!

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Madonna & Guy Ritchie: Fini!

Friends of Madonna and Guy Ritchie are saying that the pair can "no longer bear to keep up the "pretence" any longer" and are preparing to divorce.

The Sun UK cites the Material Girl's determination to adopt another child from Africa as a major reason behind the split.  I'd also opine that Madonna's close friendship slash not-so-secret affair with Alex Rodriguez is also a big factor. 

The paper reports that Guy is moving out soon, and that things have deteriorated pretty badly. 

...over the last three weeks it has become so bad that they have only been communicating through their personal assistants.

Ouch, that's pretty bad.  They can't even email each other?!   So I guess that whole vows renewal thing was part of the sham, huh?    Try not to be too shocked,  OK?

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Kenny Chesney's Latest Song Is For His Ex, Renee Zellweger

Kenny Chesney and Renee Zellweger's brief marriage barely registers at all - they were only married for four months before they had their marriage annulled in 2006.  Despite all the time that has passed, Kenny's still got feelings that need expressing.   

"In 2006, I was probably as emotionally and mentally exhausted as I'd ever been. And that was due to a lot of things--having the foot on the gas pedal constantly, and my breakup with Renée Zellweger," Kenny says.

"I got in a plane and went down to the Virgin Islands. I was completely by myself. I didn't want to be around anybody. So, the next thing you know, it's me and a pen and I sat down and wrote a lot of lines of this song, 'Nowhere to Go, Nowhere to Be.'"

The result of that retreat was his forthcoming album, Lucky Old Sun. 

Kenny says everything he wrote about his split with Renee was "the truth.  In that way, it's a pretty honest record. I've let myself be more emotionally vulnerable in some of the lyrics. I think that was good therapy."

I never understood this relationship and marriage in the first place, but I'm glad that Kenny got to work his feelings out in a productive and creative way.  Renee, on the other hand, seems to deal with hers by getting increasingly less attractive hair cuts.  I'll take the former, thanks.

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Weekly Monkey Chow: Romance Roundup

Hugh Hefner speaks on his breakup with Holly Madison.  (Celebrity Tidings)

Paris Hilton wants to start a family.  Gross.  (Hollywood Crap)

Are Avril Lavigne and Deryck Whibley headed for divorce?  (Hollywood Backwash)

You know how they say lesbians start to look like each other if they're together long enough?  Lindsay and Sam might already be at that point, sadly.  (Celebrity Puke)

Daisy de la Hoya is looking for love in her own reality show.  (Celeb Warship)

What movie couples would you like to see reunited?  (Gone Hollywood)

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Usher & Tameka: Fini?! Or Not?

It's looking more and more like Usher and his six-months pregnant wife Tameka Foster are through. 

Here's the evidence.  1)  They are reportedly living separately now.  2)  Despite being a guest of honor at Tyler Perry's new studio opening last week, Usher didn't show, and Tameka "walked the red carpet alone and according to eye witnesses, she looked sad despite putting on a brave face."  3) Usher's been seen out with other women, one of whom was spied kissing baby Usher. 

But don't expect a divorce any time soon.  Babble reports that an

"insider says that they will not divorce right now because it would 'reflect badly on his image.'"

Hmmm.... Now, did I ever think this marriage would last?  Hell no.  I still think she's too old for him and just wanted to jump on that fame train as his star was rising.  I also think he married her just to show people (his mom, for one).  So, all you girls who were upset that he married her in the first place, rejoice!  Actually no, they have a child and one on they way now, so it's actually quite sad.   Anyway.  More to come as things become clearer.

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New Book Blames Break Up With Johnny Depp For Kate Moss' Drug Problems

Kate Moss' so-called friends have spilled about her life in a new book, Kate Moss by Laura Collins, reports The Daily Mail.  They blame Kate's 1997 breakup with Johnny Depp (who supposedly introduced her to authors such as "F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jack Kerouac, Truman Capote and Hunter S. Thompson") for her turning to hard partying and "hedonism" in order to forget the pain. 

When their three-year relationship ended

Kate's reaction was to begin living at an unsustainable pace, physically, spiritually and emotionally, and abandon herself to partying.  She demonstrated an iron constitution and a capacity for alcohol that earned her the nickname 'The Tank'. She would later admit she had been 'bang into drugs'.

The following year, when she learned that Vanessa Paradis was pregnant with Johnny's child, "Any hopes [Kate] harboured of a reconciliation with Depp ended."    It was then that she supposedly realized that she "needed help" and checked into rehab for the first time.

She would go on to continue trying to heal the pain of that breakup by dating nasty Pete Doherty, with whom she did even more drugs. 

Oh no!  Look what you did, Johnny Depp!  And not to belittle Kate's addictions, but I am sure that I'd be thoroughly devastated if I broke up with Johnny, too.   I mean, JOHNNY DEPP!  *swoons*

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Howard Stern & Beth Ostrosky - Ceremony Photo!

People Magazine has a first look at Howard Stern and Beth Ostrosky's wedding ceremony at Le Cirque in New York. Here they are exchanging rings.  Well, she's getting her ring, by Suzanne Wilson.  He went for a more modern approach, getting his bride's initial "B" tattooed on his ring finger.

Oh Howard!  I hope this really does last, because I've known couples who tattooed their wedding rings and then got DIVORCED. 

My personal cynicism aside though, what a gorgeous couple.  Howard Stern cleans up real well - I'm a bit surprised!  And I am not sure I've seen a sexier wedding dress than Beth's.

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Sarah Silverman & Jimmy Kimmel: Reunited!

Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman looked pretty flirty at Howard Stern's weekend wedding to Beth Ostrosky, and there's a good reason for that:  they're back on!

"They're taking it slow," says a source. "They're on the road back to being together again."

I knew they weren't going to stay broken up.  I just had a feeling about it.  I am hoping for the best for these two!

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Are Reese and Jake Having LDR Challenges?

Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal are "struggling to maintain their relationship" according to Star Magazine. 

Not only has Jake been on location filming his new movie, The Prince of Persia, but he's working nearly around the clock, which limits the amount the couple can communicate.

"This is his first epic, and his mind is on his work," a pal of Reese's tells Star. "They talk on the phone and e-mail, but he's not 'there.' Reese is wondering if this is how it's going to be between them every time he's out of the country filming."

Long distance relationships are hard, let me tell you, so I can definitely relate to that.  It sucks!  Reese and Jake are planning to spend the holidays together, which Star's source says  "will get them back on the same page."  Hopefully that's true - I'm rooting for these two. 

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Weekly Monkey Chow: Romance Roundup

Ellen DeGeneres is going to set up Shemar Moore. (TENGossip)

Britney Spears' parents are finally trying to control her promiscuity. (Anything Hollywood)

Is it going to be a winter wedding for Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson?  (The Celebrity Blog)

What's Miley Cyrus doing smooching Mickey Mouse?  (Mom Pop Son)

Spencer and Heidi:  GET A ROOM!  (Allie Is Wired)

Photo Source:  TENGossip