Celebmonkey

Britney & Adnan... Together Again?

 

TMZ's sources say that Britney Spears and Adnan Ghalib are back on!

Our sources say over the last few months Adnan has been getting into The Summit, the gated community where Brit lives. They have been "together," though we can't say it's still going on. We know they have been texting back and forth, at times complaining that Daddy Jamie is too "controlling" by trying to put the kibosh on the relationship.

They further claim that it's not just Dad who thinks the relationship is a bad idea - Brit's doctors are against it, too.

Well, duh.  Someone in her situation shouldn't be hooking up with any friend who doesn't live in her nightstand drawer, if you know what I mean. 

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Britney Spears & Kevin Federline Going To Trial

Despite a "comfortable and positive" court hearing on Thursday, Kevin Federline and Britney Spears have not come to an agreement on the custody arrangements for their kids, Sean Preston and Jayden James. 

"The mediation didn't result in an agreement that would avoid the trial set in August," said [Federline's] loudmouth lawyer Mark Kaplan, in a post-hearing statement.  "If the existing arrangement was acceptable to both parties... we wouldn't have to go to trial. But that didn't happen."

Federline is asking for full custody.  "He wants to have an order," Kaplan said, "that takes into account a certain stability and structure for the kids...regardless of whose house they happen to be at at any given moment."

Trial is set for August 25th.  Let's hope they get this settled as amiably as possible for the sake of their kids!

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Britney Spears Has Another Car Accident

Yes, another one!   TMZ reports that their bread and butter, Britney Spears, rear ended an SUV on Sunset Boulevard in Beverly Hills this afternoon.

Britney was stopped at a light and, for some reason, accelerated when the light was still red, hitting the Explorer stopped in front of her.

This is her second car crash in a month!  We reported on her last fender bender on April 13.  Looks like Daddy Jamie needs to shorten her leash a little bit!

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Britney Part 2 on 'How I Met Your Mother'?

The ratings gods have spoken, and it appears they want Britney back.  Despite sources saying that she was a bizarre, time-wasting pain to work with, CBS has said it would be happy to have Britney return for another episode of 'How I Met Your Mother'.

Given the part of a ditzy, naive, and sweet receptionist who had recently moved to "the big city" from somewhere else, Brit did a yeoman's job.  Her acting wasn't bad but, at the same time, it wasn't much of a stretch either.  Television execs don't care much about your acting, though, when your pulling in a million more viewers than the show ever had before. 

Don't tell Neil Patrick Harris about ratings.  He's not happy about using "stunt casting" to succeed.  After Britney appeared on the March 24th episode, Harris expressed his concern that the show was "Will & Gracing" itself with too many famous guest appearances simply for the sake of ratings - Heidi Klum and Enrique Iglesias have also appeared on the show.  He doesn't feel that 'How I Met Your Mother' needs that to succeed.

Well Neil, though many of us feel the same way, it probably wouldn't matter if Britney were a cat-sacrificing anti-semite.  CBS will find a spot for her on your show.  Ratings make the world go 'round, and nobody lives that mantra more fully than the soulless, money-mongering para-demons of network television.

Britney Plays 'Hit Me Baby' with Los Angeles Traffic

Poor Britney.

She's had to deal with so much in the past few months; drugs, mental fragility, losing her children, wearing a bra.  Add another mark to the long list of things Brit's not very good at.  Reports say she was driving eastbound on the 101 near LA Saturday night when she rear-ended a Nissan while traveling nearly 20 mph.  That might not sound very fast on a freeway, but try getting hit at that speed sometime and see how your back and neck feel the next day.

Britney was understandably upset and soon moved over to the passenger side to let her body guard take over the driving.  Apparently, no drugs or alcohol were involved since our pop princess was escorted home by police and no arrests were made.  She should, at least, expect to be ticketed since the accident was her fault.

Perhaps it's just a disease some celebrities get that makes them incapable of dealing with the same day to day issues the rest of us find mundane.  Britney should probably stay home even more or hire someone to handle, pretty much, everything in her life.  It sounds like things would be safer for everyone.

Here is the CelebTV video describing the fender-bender and aftermath.

Moby Claims He Wants 'Fatter, Weirder' Britney Spears

According to Moby, Britney is the girl of his dreams.  He claims that the 'fatter' and 'weirder' she gets the more he wants her.  The problem is he exhibits the same bizarre 'why doesn't Britney weigh 115 pounds anymore' attitude that the rest of Hollywood and the dysfunctional entertainment industry have. 

It's funny how a bald, mini man-mutant like Moby feels he has the right to even begin judging someone else's appearance.  What's worse, many of the bloggers picking up on this story think the same.  They make funny jabs like 'boxes filled with Haagen Daaz containers' as if the fact that Britney looks human now is a testament to morbid obesity.

Sorry, can't agree with this one.   Maybe some of those fat ass bloggers out there can quit living vicariously through their subject matter and save the 'fat' moniker for someone who actually deserves it.

Weird?  Yes she is.  Fat?  C'mon, you bloated frog-creatures, who are you kidding?

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Britney Loses 15 Pounds and 5 Years for Cover of OK!

Now that's a diet plan!  Who wouldn't like to lose 15 pounds in four weeks and not only look, but be, years younger.  Well, according to TMZ, it looks like OK! found a way to make it happen for Britney.

The picture on the cover of this week's issue is actually from a photo shoot Brit was in involved in for Glamour....nearly 5 years ago!  She was only 21 and I think we all remember how good the girl looked back then.  One of the clues that gave it away was the hair color and length that she hasn't sported for quite some time.  Even if hair extensions were involved, it still looked odd.  So much for truth in advertising. 

It actually wasn't a bad idea for a gossip rag that lives and dies by the diet of the week.  They can easily make some bogus claim about Britney's new "binge and purge" plan, then when she shows up next week the same size she's been for months, they can do another story about how poor Brit "fell off the wagon" and has gained it all back.  Hey, that's not a bad idea for tabloid news.  Too bad that's about as good as OK! gets.

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Britney to Win 'Best Cautionary Tale' at Kids' Choice Awards

Like they say, when it rains it pours.  Now that CBS has broken the seal and let Britney out of her box, everyone wants our favorite ratings pumper to be a part of their show.  Following in her little sister's footsteps, rumor has it that Britney Spears is headed to the Kids' Choice Awards on March 29th.  According to OK! Magazine, a source close to Britney says that she's excited because she believes she can get, at least, as much attention as Jamie Lynn did last year.  Of course, it wouldn't matter if Britney was invited to be the keynote speaker at a Bat Mitzvah, she'd be there as long as there was the slightest chance of a photo op.

Based on the Kids' Choice Awards invitation, we can only assume a few possibilities; either the awards committee has never heard of Britney Spears, they have heard of her but are choosing to ignore the past 5 years of her career, or they're simply morally and ethically bankrupt, getting some perverse enjoyment from making a role model out of someone who had to have her own kids taken away from her.  Honestly, there's no logical reason why she should be a part of that show unless you count ratings and money....oh yeah.

So congratulations to Britney and the Kids' Choice Awards; a match made in Heaven.  Britney needed an another excuse to look decent - hopefully - in public, and the awards show needed a big ratings one-shot just like 'How I Met Your Mother.'   Who cares about the subject matter, right?  I'm sure Brit can give a quick speech to little Johnny and Cindy about the importance of staying in school and avoiding those pesky, south of the equator camera shots.

Sarah Chalke Steals the Show from Britney

As expected, CBS's 'How I Met Your Mother' used Britney Spears just the way we all thought they would; as a dim-witted, overly sensitive, fragile space-case willing to have anonymous sex with the first guy who acts the least bit nice to her.  Not a big stretch given the 'actor' they had to work with, but ludicrously formulaic and stupid.  It took a yeoman-like performance from Britney to make the character seem remotely human.  For that, we have to say she did just fine.

Interestingly, the big surprise that stole the show - or was it - was Sarah Chalke's performance as a dermatologist who becomes the object of main character, Ted's, affections.  You may remember her as the "new" Becky during the final seasons of 'Roseanne', but more recently as Dr. Elliot Reed on 'Scrubs'.  Whereas Dr. Reed is ditzy and unsure, Ted's love interest seems confident, competent, and strongly motivated by her responsibility to her daughter; a breath of fresh air, if you will.  She's forced to turn down Ted's advances due to her schedule.  Which begs the question, what the hell kind of private practice doctor only has two minutes for lunch?  And don't say "dermatologists" because most of them have the best golf game of any MD and it's not because they're in the office 10 hours a day.

Many fans are asking, will we see Sarah's character again.  It's quite possible.  The end of the episode left the door wide open.  I suppose they had to write Britney the way they did, though.  It was a one-shot.  CBS blew their wad on the pop star's viewability and scored.  But by accident or design, Sarah stole the show, and the promise of her return might actually draw in some new fans.  Maybe CBS knew what it was doing - looking toward the long term - after all.   

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Miley Is The New Britney?

Apparently Britney is losing her cache with the paparazzi.  Mollygood reports:

“Over the weekend, there were less than a half dozen [photographers] covering Britney,” according to BuzzFoto founder Brad Elterman. “Yet there were 30 in the pack covering Miley Cyrus.” Elterman says the reason is because these Britney regulars want something “new and fresh.”

First of all, duh.  Of course Britney is less popular with these leeches.  She was the paparazzi's bread and butter, and now that dad Jamie has her on lockdown, you hardly even see her out anymore.  Which I approve of 100%.

Second, how many different ways can I say "ewwww"?   "New and fresh"???  Even though lately she hasn't exactly been dressing like it, Miley is 15, y'all.   FIFTEEN!  The pedophilia factor aside, it seems to me that celebrity gossip hounds are just waiting for Miley to start publicly falling apart, and each paparazzo is just waiting to catch it on film/pixels so he (aren't most of them guys?) can be the one to make the big bucks.  Just look at the buzz over her naughty pictures (which were stupid, but still).

And while I won't fault anyone for making money in any legal fashion, I still think it's sad.

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