Celebmonkey

Foxy Brown Prays For The Camera

Foxy Brown was released from Rikers Island last Friday.  She served eight months in the pokey for parole violations. 

Like many others, Foxy claims to have found God while in the pen.  Via cell phone, minutes after her release, she told MTV:

“I really, really want to go to church first and get it right with God. It’s only through His grace that I was able to survive this, and I want to get down on my knees and thank Him.”

Mmmmmhmmm.  Personally, I was waiting for the photographic evidence on this one.  And I'll be damned - here it is!   Above, Foxy prays at St. Paul's The Apostle Church in New York City. It would have probably seemed more authentic if she hadn't been photographed doing it, but she still gets points in my book for doing what she said she would.

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Vanilla Ice: Even More Of A Douche Than We Thought

Vanilla Ice, the world's worst white rapper, was arrested Thursday night for on domestic violence charges.

His wife, Laura Van Winkle, called police reporting that he had hit and kicked her.  When they arrived, she changed her story, saying that he had only pushed her.  It was enough to get him booked into Florida's Palm Beach County Jail, though.  He was released today after a court hearing.

Ice-Ice-Baby denied pushing her, but acknowledged that the couple, who were married in 1997, had been arguing for two days.  He claims her bipolar condition is poorly controlled with medication, and that she

still has irrational and argumentative episodes and had thrown a picture frame from a rear balcony to the ground, where it shattered near him and their 8- and 10-year-old children.

However, given that this is the third time he's been in jail for domestic violence, his attempt to pin this on her only goes so far with this blogger.  Take an anger management class already, dude!

For a good laugh, dear readers, check out this video of Ice's song from the TMNT movie back in 1991:

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Mischa Barton Not Really Punished For DUI

Mischa Barton will accept a plea bargain on Thursday during an arraignment hearing related to her December arrest, sources say.

She was arrested in L.A. on December 27 for driving without a license and possession of illegal narcotics (weed). 

She has agreed to plead no contest to drunken driving, and this will result in the following slap gentle graze on the wrist :  three years of unsupervised probation, a three-month alcohol-education class, and a $1,700 fine.   The possession charges will be dropped and the driving without a license charge will be reduced to a traffic violation. 

She must have some bang-up lawyers (or maybe they're just banging somebody?), because that's not really what I would call a punishment.  This was all apparently engineered so she can avoid jail, but I think she should go to jail.  She was weaving across lanes of traffic and could have killed someone.  In fact she probably would have if it hadn't been 2:30 am. I don't care much about the license thing and not at all about the pot thing, but driving under the influence is no joke.  If justice is blind, then she can't see whether someone has been on TV or in a movie or is just a regular old Joe or Jane.  I wonder when judges and district attorneys in L.A. County will start applying the same justice to celebrities as they do to everyone else?

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Shia LeBeouf: Minor Bad Boy

Shia LeBeouf (and damn, that name is hard for me to type, because I was a French major and that is clearly a misspelling) is a wanted man. 

There's a bench warrant out for his arrest CORRECTION:  There WAS a bench warrant out for his arrest due to his failure to appear in Superior Court yesterday regarding his citation for "unlawful smoking."  He was cited in the City of Burbank last month for allegedly smoking somewhere he wasn't supposed to - which in Burbank is just about everywhere.      

According to Page Six, "Shia's lawyer showed in court today to plead not guilty to unlawful smoking on the Transformer star's behalf."

This follows his November arrest in Chicago for being drunk in a Walgreen's and refusing to leave the store.  Those charges were eventually dropped.

I like Shia.  I think he's got a promising acting future ahead of him.  When I first saw him in "Holes", I thought he was great.  I was impressed with his turn in "Transformers".    I am really looking forward to seeing him in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, too.

But I must say I am pretty disappointed in his criminal record.   A fine young actor such as himself should not be frittering away his youth on such petty crimes as public drunkenness and "unlawful smoking."  If you're gonna develop a rap sheet, Shia, let it be for something meatier than that! (Ha ha, meatier... get it... his name means "beef"... get it.... oh, hell, my French major is showing.)   For the love of biscuits, live a little!

Well, that or straighten up and fly right.   But either way, let's not be half-assed about it, mmmkay?

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