Celebmonkey

Spitzer's Favorite Girl To Make 'Ho' Lotta Money

Eliot Spitzer's favorite call girl, "Kristen," has just been tapped - no pun intended - to appear in Hustler for the bargain basement price of $1,000,000.  She's also got reps from Penthouse doing their best to cash in on her 15 minutes of fame.  Considering all the pictures, websites, radio talk shows, and late night television this girl's gonna "do", Kristen - aka Ashley Dupre - is set for life.  Oh, and don't forget the "tell all" that'll probably be out by this time next week.  Sounds like she's got it made now.  This whole deal, though, sets a dangerous precedent.

It'll be interesting to see how this will affect the prostitution industry.  It can't be good for business.  Think about it, any man with even a modicum of clout and power should beware.  If "Kristen" could make a million bucks for having sex with a big name Governor, hookers all over the world will be considering selling out any john who has a public face or ever ran for office.  The Spitzer affair should have Alderman Davis looking over his shoulder and strongly considering where to spend his hard earned dollar.  Who knows who's wired now.

From what I'm told, prostitution is a hard life.  Most hookers would take any excuse to get out, especially a million dollar payday.  It's not hard to imagine one willing to pose for a hot naked pictorial, after all, they are whores.  Show me a woman who has sex with dirty-weird, perverted strangers for money and doesn't want to retire, and I'll show you a dude.  So let this be a lesson guys.  Next time you get that feelin', just turn around, go back home, and keep that golden paycheck in your pants.  Maybe take your wife out to dinner.  Just a thought.

Dr. Phil Opines On Spitzer Scandal, No One Cares

Here's a clip of Dr. Phil giving his opinion on the Eliot Spitzer debacle. 

I'm surprised he hasn't already planned his next TV special around this, wherein he and Robin dash to New York to offer the Spitzers marriage counseling - with, of course, a stop in Washington for Dr. Phil to do some "field research" at the Emperor's Club while he's in the neighborhood. I can just hear him now:  "It's for business, Robin!  Just business!"   

I don't like Dr. Phil, in case you can't tell - and I really don't get why other people love the pompous, judgmental blowhard so much.  He's got all of Middle America brainwashed into thinking he's their personal psychologist. I once told someone I never watched his show because I couldn't stand him and she said, "What??  You can't just say something like that without explaining yourself!"  It was like I had just spat on Mother Teresa's habit.  I mean she was outraged and took it as a personal offense.   

So look, Phil.  I know you have to keep up the book sales and advertising contracts and crap, but try to take a lesson from poking your nose into Britney's business.  Most of us don't care about your opinion, and most of us - nay, I'd say all of us - resent unsolicited advice and/or analysis, especially when it's the result of public humiliation.   Please, even if it means 0.000001% less publicity for you, do the Spitzers, who have enough going on as it is, a favor and shut up about their lives. 

In fact, do us ALL a favor and just shut up, period.

Source

Hookers Help Dow Jump 416 Points in One Day

When Eliot Spitzer took down insurance broker Marsh & Mclennan, he upset more than a few people.  Many wonder if the insurance broker and its main accomplice, AIG, will ever recover from the $850 million in fines.  In 2002, Spitzer got several Wall Street banks to pay a $1.3 billion in fines for allegedly misleading smaller portfolio investors to help pump up their corporate investments.  He even exposed abuses in the mutual fund industry, eventually forcing at least $2.3 billion in "restitution, penalties, and reduced fees."  His "take no prisoners" attitude toward prosecuting big business in New York earned him the nickname, the "Sheriff of Wall Street."

Yesterday, Governor Spitzer admitted to some sort of impropriety involving a prostitution ring known as The Emperors Club.  He apologized to his wife, family, and the people of New York for...something.  It's just not clear for what, exactly.  Maybe it's for spending 5 grand for ONE HOUR with a prostitute....now that's unforgivable.  What is clear is that he didn't apologize to Wall Street.

So it's not surprising that the Dow closed up 416 points today after news of Spitzer's alleged whore mongering was released.  There's nothing hotter than seeing the squeaky clean "do-gooder" fall from grace, and he was the proverbial poster child.  Spitzer's name is still whispered in the halls of major insurance companies as some sort of "bogeyman."  Wall Street was ready for a little payback, compliments of the Justice Department and a couple of ridiculously high priced call girls.  Some will argue that the bump may actually have more to do with news that the FED is cutting interest rates again.  But we know the truth.  Investment firms all across New York are popping bottles of champagne tonight.

Fortunately, this whole ordeal gives us an excellent lesson in finance.  If you want investment firms, banks, corporate investors, major brokerage houses, and filthy rich private investors to temporarily prop up the stock exchange, give them some happy news.  They love happy news.  Who knew that the world's oldest profession was so good for the economy?
 

Paying For Sex Used To Be a Hell of a Lot Easier

Eliot Spitzer, the governor of New York, was recently implicated in a prostitution ring when he was recorded arranging a meeting with one of the ring's employees by the FBI.  He was staying overnight in DC and had the young woman, an employee of The Emperors Club, "transported" from New York.  It would be impossible to list all the problems with this situation, so we'll just delve into a few.

There was a time when buying good quality sex was just a pay phone call away.  You went someplace comfortable but not too nice, you took care of business, and then you went home.  No one was the wiser.  Unfortunately, technology has come along and completely screwed the likes of Eliot Spitzer and other members of the monogamously challenged.  Now we have cell phones, blackberries, pda's, iphones, and probably microchip implants that tell the entire world exactly where we are at any given time.  Not only that, but this technology makes people dumber than they already are.  They start saying to themselves, "No one will see just one cell phone call on the bill or one email address to 'High Class Bowery Babes.'  What's the harm?" In reality, they should be using a pay phone nowhere within 20 miles of where they live and wiping it off with a clean rag to get rid of fingerprints after the arrangements have been made.  Of course, it takes a few extra minutes but it puts the mind at ease: No big surprises.

Take this example.  Say you're the governor of a one of the most populous states in the Union.  You probably work quite a few late nights - at least that's what you tell your wife.  Maybe things haven't been so good a home.  Perhaps you haven't gotten any in a few months and there looks to be no rain in the forecast for some time to come.  It could be that your just utterly addicted to sex and can't get enough so you turn to other sources.  Maybe your just stupid.  Who knows?  The one thing you DON'T do is use your cell phone or any other electronic device that can be linked back to you in any way.  Also, if you're going to use a "service," at least make sure they're paid up with the right people and that they're NOT under investigation.  My god, man, it's YOUR state and YOU'RE the governor.  You should have a few connections.

Also, when you leave town for the night and think you'll be feeling frisky, try using a local shop with a decent underground reputation.  Send a trusted assistant to scope out the situation ahead of time.  Check out a really nice strip club and find yourself a willing "aspiring actress" or model trying to pay her way through school.  Think about it.  You don't have to worry about getting pinched.  It's not like she'll know who you are anyway.  But as a former attorney general you should probably know that transporting prostitutes over state lines for the purposes of said prostitution is a federal offense - which completely takes the situation out of YOUR hands.

Finally, and perhaps most embarrassing of all, is the fact that you paid upwards of $5,500 a night for one of these girls.  5,500 bucks isn't a night with a hooker, it's long weekend at a nice bed and breakfast...with two hookers.  Just because the restaurant is trendy and has a great reputation doesn't mean you should pay triple the price for the same food.  In other words, no hooker is worth that, unless it's actually a week long lease.

Governor Spitzer, you made a lot of mistakes in this situation.  You got sloppy and it cost you.  You made paying for sex a lot harder than it needed to be, especially for someone with your clout.  Fortunately, there is something you can do to help make things right.  Though we wouldn't want to give you any advice that you might find unpalatable, you might just consider - you know - not cheating on your wife anymore.  Give it shot, it might feel better than dropping $5,500 a night and ruining your previously "clean" reputation.